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Horoscopes - July 2007

By Joubarc

Aries

You’ll move your LEGO site to another hosting company, but the new one won’t be more reliable.

Taurus

You’ll select a LEGO set as the allowed one personnal item for your adventure trip, but you will take en empty box by mistake.

Gemini

Your new office cubicle will be as small as a vignette.

Cancer

You’ll plan to attend so many LEGO events during the summer that you will mix all the dates.

Leo

You won’t touch a brick this month as you will be too busy with Harry Potter.

Virgo

Don’t eat that lettuce - it grows hair.

Libra

You’ll search your entire LEGO collection for hours for a 2 x 3 red brick to photograph, but you won’t find any.

Scorpio

Your prayers for more female minifigs will be unanswered. Unless you call Tina a minifig; then, yes, you’ll get some.

Sagittarius

The LEGO Company will suddenly release a set at the planned date instead of months in advance, which will confuse you greatly.

Capricorn

You won’t be able to make up your mind about what to bring to the LEGO event you organize. A big mosaic maybe? Or not?

Aquarius

You’ll wonder if Indiana Jones sets will contain a Lara Croft minifig. Hint: go watch the movies.

Pisces

You’ll set up your LEGO blog to update automatically when you’re on holiday, but it won’t quite work.

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Horoscopes - June 2007

By Joubarc

Aries: One of your minifigs will definitely frown at you.
Taurus: You’ll be invited to participate in a new show, Big Brother: LEGOland edition.
Gemini: You’ll brag about buying a foreign castle, having it shipped to you brick per brick, and rebuilding it in your garden. Just change the subject when people ask its size.
Cancer: You will paint your cat’s legs green so that you can call it Mobile Devastator. It’s a very suitable name.
Leo: Stars don’t know what set “revolutionized” your building, but they could venture a guess on which one will cause your spouse not to talk to you for a week.
Virgo: You will start using garbage as cement and your city will collapse.
Libra: Your bad habit of glueing LEGO together will at last turn against you when you buy the new key rack.
Scorpio: You will bring a Mars Mission missile launcher at your office, and let’s just say missiles won’t be the only ones to be fired.
Sagittarius: LEGO’s reputation may be the best, but it won’t help your own reputation that much.
Capricorn: Trading skeletons for aliens should be easy, but why on earth do you want to do that?
Aquarius: You will mark all your train tracks in preparation of a big LEGO display, but that’s pointless: you will be the only one bringing RC track, and there is not a chance anyone else would take them.
Pisces: Your new pirate ship won’t float. Next time, don’t test it in a deep muddy lake.

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Horoscopes - May 2007

By Joubarc

Aries: You will refuse to pay the full price for a Death Star which isn’t even completed.
Taurus: You will fail a geography exam. Billund is not the capital of Denmark. Maybe it should, but it isn’t.
Gemini: Your chances to win a golden LEGO minifig will be around nil. Maybe if you considered actually buying some Star Wars sets…
Cancer: Your friends will have a good laugh at your expense when you believe their story about Octago bricks for yet unborn children.
Leo: Stop nagging your LEGO ambassador to get a visa for LEGOLAND. None is required.
Virgo: There will be a new release of NXC, NBC, or BrickCC.
Libra: You will fill a cushion with ABS granulate and sleep very well on it, having the sweetest LEGO dreams ever.
Scorpio: You will train chicken to lay LEGO-shaped eggs. Much better than square eggs.
Sagittarius: You will forget yet again that the LEGO shop which is located one hour drive away from your home, closes on Sunday.
Capricorn: You will borrow a friend’s kids, but you will be very disappointed when they arrive with stuffed bears for toys instead of their LEGO bricks.
Aquarius: There won’t be any new sets released in May, but no worries, your LEGO money will be needed in June.
Pisces: Your devotion towards LEGO will go a step further when you start learning Danish. Det er ikke særlig svært.

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